Finding out that you are going to have a baby, is welcome news for those who are trying to conceive, but for those who weren’t planning for it or trying to, it can bring a higher level of anxiety to the relationship.
Many couples will look towards permanent forms of contraception to avoid future unplanned pregnancies, but having that conversion between couples can be difficult; managing the personalities involved, the social challenges, and navigating the variety of misinformation and confusion around the available procedural options.
For many men, it can be a source of concern thinking about having a vasectomy; will it hurt? What if something goes wrong? Will I still be able to have sex? And it’s understandable that some women would feel frustrated with their partner if they were hesitant about having a vasectomy — especially after potentially going through childbirth already, and/or managing the side effects of female contraception.
But talking through these issues is always the best strategy, as partners will become less upset and more understanding of each other’s fears through a healthy proactive discussion. But how do you balance individual desires with a person’s right not to feel pressured into having a medical procedure?
In this blog piece, we discuss ideas around having a respectful conversation with your partner about the vasectomy procedure, to help arrive at a consensus decision.
Why Men Fear A Vasectomy
A vasectomy is a permanent male method of contraception, which involves cutting the tubes that carry the sperm from the testes, so the ejaculated semen will not contain sperm.
At Vasectomy Australia, we do this through the No-Scalpel Technique, which only requires a single small puncture in the skin of the scrotum, and does not even require any stitches. The entire process, can be done in less than 30 minutes.
Dr Cashion of Vasectomy Australia says that, “a No-Scalpel Vasectomy is a very small operation, that can be performed using a local anaesthetic. But we also know that there are a lot of myths and misinformation out there about the procedure, that often make it very misunderstood.”
One of the main myths is how a vasectomy will affect future sexual performance, including the patient’s libido.
Dr Cashion notes that “…a vasectomy has no impact on sexual functions, erections, libido or orgasms. In fact, the semen is the exact same as it was previously, except now, it doesn’t contain any sperm.”
But more than that he concludes, “…the fear of pain or complications from a vasectomy creates unnecessary anxiety, as the sensation from a No-Scalpel Vasectomy is similar to that of a pin prick or needle. The reality of the experience of having a vasectomy is much different from the assumption.”
When Discussions Create Tension
Of course, any discussion around medical procedures on a body is a very personal matter, and for each person requires a unique solution for addressing it.
In some cases, the exchanging of information through available material, mutual friends, and reliable online sources, can help provide couples with the necessary information they need to make an agreeable joint decision.
However, for others it can get more complicated. It is important to remember what the goal is, and respecting the decisions that someone makes for their own body. There are multiple solutions for each problem, and that it is better for someone to reach a decision independently, rather than feeling forced or manipulated.
It should also be clear that the goal is mutually shared, as something like a vasectomy should be viewed as permanent.
If there are hesitations and concerns, it is always best to discuss what those hesitations are. And if openly communicating isn’t natural in your relationship, you can consider finding a professional therapist, who can help inform and drive better communication between the partners.
This can be very beneficial for both parties, as a therapist can help create a safe and open space for sharing all of your thoughts, and giving opportunity for careful consideration of everyone’s feelings.
In many cases, we find that women will do a lot of the researching on the vasectomy procedure, but it is important that the men get involved by doing their own. Involving them in the process empowers them, and gives them the ability to filter through the available information to find the relevant points that speak to them. Encourage them to reach out to their GP, researching reliable sources online, or even contact our friendly staff at Vasectomy Australia.
The more that someone learns about their options, the less they feel threatened or concerned. It becomes de-mystified, and makes it easier to make a more rational decision for themselves.
With one in 4 men over the age of 40 having undergone a vasectomy, Australia has one of the highest rates in the world. But that hasn’t stopped the challenge many couples face initiating and progressing this conversation. It will be different for all couples, but finding the facts, establishing clear goals, and engaging in open communication, have always been the hallmarks for creating good meaningful dialogue that can help any couple achieve sound decision making.
If you have other questions or concerns about the vasectomy procedure, we’d love to help clarify them for you. Please contact us on 1800 SNIPME (1800 764 763) or email us at email@example.com